Super Marcus
by Toasterman
Summary: A comedy about Marcus, Dom, Baird, Cole and the rest centered around Marcus getting exposed to Emulsion during the Act 3 Corpser fight which alters him as well as the rest of the game's storyline.
1. Chapter 1

Super Marcus

**Super Marcus**

Chapter 1: Corpser!

The steel and wooden platform that the Locust Corpser was standing on began to collapse. Steel creaked, wood snapped, and cables went slack as the platform shattered and the giant creature standing on it fell into the yellow emulsion liquid flowing beneath it. The creature screamed up at its killer who was busy reloading his Lancer assault rifle.

As the Corpser disappeared into the emulsion, Sgt. Marcus Fenix finished reloading his weapon and turned to leave. Then he heard the splashing of liquid behind him and turned to see the Corpser bearing down on him, now with a series of burns covering its exoskeleton. The massive monster landed with one of its finger-like limbs behind where Marcus was standing, so that when it started to slide back into the emulsion, the finger hit Marcus and started to drag him in with it.

"Ah shit!" Marcus shouted as he tried to free himself from part of the finger that was pinning him to the ground as it dragged him.

Then he fell down into the emulsion along with the dying Corpser.

"Marcus!" Dom yelled as he ran up to the edge of the cliff where Marcus had fallen in.

Dom looked down into the emulsion, hoping to see a glimpse of his friend. Just then, both Cole and Baird walked up behind Dom.

"Hey, what's goin' on, Dom?" Cole asked Dom as he jogged up, adjusting the weight of the resonator on his back.

"Marcus just died," Dom replied with no hint of emotion in his voice.

Cole squinted really hard as he tried to comprehend what Dom had just said. Then after a second, he got it. "Ah, sorry Dom," Cole said and put a hand on Doom's shoulder.

"Man that's a lot of emulsion," Baird muttered.

Dom was about to yell at Baird for being a dick head when Marcus flew up out of the emulsion like the Corpser had and landed behind them.

"Hey, what's happenin' baby!?" Cole exclaimed and went over to hug Marcus.

"Get the fuck back, Cole! I don't want a hug!" Marcus said, his eyes glowing a strange yellow color.

Marcus's armor was scuffed and burnt from his fall into the emulsion, and his gloves were burnt through in certain parts, mainly the fingertips. The skin on his hands, face and neck was glowing from beneath the surface in a faint yellow way. Overall, he looked almost possessed by some weird force.

"Oh, sorry baby," Cole muttered. He looked like he was about to cry because of Marcus rejecting his attempt at hugging him.

"Hey, uh, Marcus? You're looking pretty lambent," Baird pointed out.

"Will y'all quit using big words! You're makin' my head hurt!" Cole said, now almost certainly crying.

"You really _are_ glowing Marcus," Dom said.

"Yeah? Well that's not all I can do!" Marcus said.

Then a bullet bounced off Baird's chest armor, driving him into cover. Everyone ducked down and looked around for where the shot had come from.

"Sniper!" Dom shouted, pointing to a cliff coming out of the side of the cavern, "Over there!"

Marcus looked over to where Dom was pointing and saw that there was in fact a Locust sniper. Marcus stood up and looked really hard at the sniper.

"What the hell's he doin'?" asked Baird to no one in particular.

Suddenly, two Hammer of Dawn beams shot out of Marcus's eyes and destroyed the whole section of the cavern wall that the sniper was standing on. Rock was melted and tossed into the emulsion below while the sniper himself turned into a dark red stain on the rock behind him.

"Oh yeah!" Marcus shouted in orgasmic delight at his new ability to shoot yellow emulsion beams of death out of his eyeballs.

"Holy shit!" Baird shouted.

"Man, you're like a super hero or somethin'!" Cole interjected.

Dom simply remained quiet as he looked from Marcus to the place where the sniper used to be and then back to Marcus before asking, "You're not going to do that to me, are you?"

"Nah," Marcus replied, "We've got work to do. Cole, how's that resonator?"

"It's fine," Cole said.

"Well okay then, let's do it!" Marcus said and started off to the pumping station.

"Sure thing, Super Marcus," Baird said.

Marcus turned to face Baird. "What'd you say?" he growled.

"Uh, sure thing Super Marcus?" Baird answered, hoping Marcus wouldn't melt him into a puddle of smart-ass goo.

Marcus narrowed his eyes for a second before smiling. "I like it. Dom, start calling me that," he decided.

"Sure thing man," Dom replied while Baird was only glad he hadn't shit himself in fright.

Then Cole, Dom, Baird and their leader, Super Marcus, went off to kill the Locust and plant the resonator.


	2. Chapter 2

Super Marcus

**Author's Note: Please review so I know that I've actually got an audiance. If don't know people are reading then I won't have any will to write these things.**

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 2: Pumping Station**

"Look at all that juice!" Cole exclaimed as they walked into another cavern.

"Shut the fuck up, Cole!" Super Marcus growled like he was on his man-period.

The emulsion exposure was making his eyes itch. Super Marcus decided that it was probably because human eyes weren't designed to be able to fire Hammer of Dawn-like emulsion beams. His body was changing as though it was going through some kind of emulsion puberty except instead of learning his dick could stand up on its own Super Marcus was learning how to melt things with his eyes.

He wondered what else he could do as the squad made its way over a rise in the rock and got its first glimpse of the pumping station where they would have to plant the resonator.

"What do we do?" Dom asked him.

"I'll tell you what we do," Super Marcus growled, "Cole, hand me the damn resonator."

"Sure thing, baby!" Cole said, happy that he was needed for something.

Cole took the resonator off his back and handed it to Super Marcus, who put it on his own back and turned to the rest of the squad.

"Hand me your Lancers," he ordered.

"Fuck to that, man!" Baird protested, taking two steps back in the process.

"So you're not doin' it?" Super Marcus asked in a low, testosterone filled voice.

"Hell no!" Baird confirmed.

Super Marcus took two quick steps over to Baird and snatched the Lancer out of his hands with no trouble at all. Then he turned to Cole and Dom.

"How about you?" he asked.

They both handed him their assault rifles without any protest at all. Super Marcus took two Lancers in each hand and walked down the rock slope towards the pumping station. Up on the hill, Baird voiced his doubt in a low voice so Super Marcus couldn't hear.

"There's no way he can handle the recoil," he whispered.

Super Marcus spun around and shouted back up to him, "I can fucking hear you numb nuts!"

Before Baird could say he was sorry, Super Marcus shot two emulsion eye beams over his head and destroyed a stalactite behind him. The rock fell into the emulsion surrounding the rock path and disappeared in a splash.

"Sorry Super Marcus!" Baird shouted down to him after seeing what could have been done to his head.

Super Marcus grunted and turned to continue down the path toward the station, making a mental note to learn to aim better, as he'd meant to melt Baird's face off. Super Marcus heard a strange cranking noise and then a loud thump. Looking down, he saw a torque bow arrow sticking out of his knee guard on his armor.

"Ah, shit," Super Marcus muttered.

Then the arrow exploded, sending a heat wave over Marcus and destroying his knee guard. But when the smoke cleared, he was still standing. The explosion hadn't broken his skin, only shattered his knee guard. The Theron Guard who'd fired the arrow hissed in anger and readied another shot.

Super Marcus dashed up around the station and up a ramp as fast as he could, which was considerably faster than he used to, and came to a stop behind the Theron Guard. The Locust elite soldier turned and started to aim his torque bow. Super Marcus fired a clip each out of his quad-Lacers and destroyed the Guard.

The enemy's finger let go of the trigger and the arrow stuck into the ground at Super Marcus's giant boots. Reaching down, Super Marcus pulled the arrow out and threw it at another Theron Guard. The thrown arrow had enough force to stick into his target's neck armor and explode before the grub could hiss 'shit'.

"Take it!" Super Marcus shouted at the dead remains of the target.

Suddenly, a Theron Guard jumped at Super Marcus. He stepped to one side and watched the Locust hit its head on a wall. Super Marcus looked around and saw a toolbox sitting on the wall of the pumping station. He picked it up and whacked the Theron Guard on the back of the head with it, using enough force to shatter the Locust's skull.

Super Marcus reloaded his quad-Lancers and stepped around the corner to see the remaining Theron Guards lined up in front of a low-lying wall. They hissed and started charging their torque bows

Super Marcus didn't do anything as they fired their salvo. The multiple arrows sunk into his armor and went off, sending a large bang out across the cavern.

Up on the hill, Baird made a comment, "Yeah, he's fucking dead."

The smoke cleared and Marcus was still standing, albeit with a series of scorch marks and holes in his armor.

"You guy's done?" he asked the surprised Theron Guards, "Well okay then. My turn."

The quad-Lancers opened up, the sheer weight of the barrage knocked the Theron Guards to the ground in bloody heaps of goo. When he was out of ammo, Super Marcus noted that there was one left who was trying to run away. Calmly, he focused his eyes on it and squinted really hard.

Up on the hill, the rest of Delta Squad saw the twin beams of emulsion energy lance out the other side of the pumping station.

"Man, Baird, you was wrong," Cole muttered, "Way wrong."

"I don't want to hear it man, not a word," Baird cautioned.

"Cole, Dom, Baird! Get down here and help me set up the resonator!" Super Marcus shouted up to them.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Please leave reviews for me

**Author's Note: Please leave reviews for me. I'd like to know your opinions on this please.**

Super Marcus

**Chapter 3: Lousy Resonator!**

"Baird! Let's go!" Super Marcus shouted to his blonde haired teammate.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming," Baird retorted as he finished setting up the Resonator and turned to jog over to their lift out of the mines.

When the lift reached the top of its track Delta Squad ran out into a small field near the exit. Behind them, the Resonator discharged its mapping pulse that ran up the lift track and burst out into the open air. The force of it drove Cole, Baird and Dom to the ground clutching their ringing ears. Super Marcus, however, stayed standing against the wave due to his new emulsion-based powers.

"Ah, my fucking ears!" Baird whined from where he was on the ground.

"Control, this is Uber Sargent Super Marcus. We've planted the resonator, over," Super Marcus reported in, expecting to hear Anya's soft voice reply to him.

Instead, however, he was greeted with a voice equal in testosterone to his own.

"Fenix, you can't just go and give your self a promotion that doesn't exist!" Colonel Hoffman shouted over the radio in Super Marcus's ear.

"Fuck you, Hoffman," Super Marcus growled back.

"Whatever Fenix! Point is, that lousy Resonator didn't deliver the goods!" Hoffman shouted and Super Marcus was sure he could hear the chewing tabacco in the Colonel's mouth screaming for release from its misery.

"Hey, maybe I can help with that," Baird interjected.

"How! Tell me now!" Super Marcus demanded, stepping toward the man with his eyes starting to glow.

"With this," Baird said tentatively, handing Super Marcus a geo-bot carefully.

"Give me that!" Super Marcus growled.

He snatched the geo-bot out of Baird's hand and accidentally crushed it into a glittering shower of mechanical dust.

"Ah, shit!" Super Marcus bellowed angrily.

"Great," Dom said, "Now what do we do?"

Super Marcus chose that particular moment to blame Baird for all of his problems since childhood and emulsion-beamed him through the chest. Blood sprayed all over Cole and took him by surprise since he was still deep in thought about Hoffman's news that the Resonator hadn't worked and in fact had just started to wonder what the machine was supposed to do in the first place.

"Man, you killed Baird!" Cole exclaimed.

"Oh yeah!" Super Marcus grunted in ecstasy.

Dom took a few steps backwards at the sight, terrified at what Super Marcus might do next. Then Anya came over the radio with good news.

"Super Marcus, I have good news! Jack just analyzed the pulverized remains of the geo-bot and found out that you'll need to go back to your father's house to get the info we need on the Locust tunnels so we can win the war!" Anya squealed happily over the radio.

"Copy that Anya, we're ready for pickup," Super Marcus replied.

Cole was busy crying over the melted puddle of slime that used to be Baird and didn't say anything as the Raven pulled in for a landing.

An hour later, the Raven was flying over East Barricade Academy towards a landing zone near Marcus's father's house. They'd picked up a new teammate named Private Roger Redshirt who was busy standing near the edge of the Raven's troop area and had his helmeted head out in the wind. He was looking out in front of the Raven and saw something.

"Nemacyst!" he shouted and frantically jumped back from the edge.

Super Marcus saw one of the Nemacyst hit their wingman Raven. The other chopper spun out of control and smashed into a street behind a large brick building.

"Okay," Super Marcus grunted, "Now I'm pissed!"

Super Marcus stood up and walked to the edge of the Raven troop area. He reached out and grabbed one of a passing Nemacyst's many tendrils. He pulled it in with his left hand and beat the hell out of its 'head' with his right until the creature was unconscious. Then he threw it out of the Raven at another Nemacyst, which it hit and exploded on.

Black ink sprayed everywhere and coated the streets below them. Though Nemacyst weren't known for their intelligence, the rest of them in the vacinity were smart enough to run away at the sight of Super Marcus destroying two of their kin with only his bare hands. One of them, however, was trying to make up its mind while hovering in mid-air.

Super Marcus emulsion-beamed it into non-existence.

"Oh yeah!" Super Marcus grunted victoriously.

"We're coming in for a landing!" the pilot said, "Get ready! The LZ is hot!"

Super Marcus, Cole, Dom, and Private Redshirt lined up at the exit point on the Raven as they rapidly approached the landing zone.


	4. Chapter 4

Super Marcus

**Author's Note: Please review if you like it. Hell, review it if you don't like it. Just please review it so I know how the audience feels.**

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 4: Campus Fucker**

Private Redshirt was the first guy off the Raven at the East Barricade landing zone. He took one step off the landing skid and a torque bow arrow smacked through his helmet and stuck in his forehead. Then the arrow exploded, spraying body parts all over Super Marcus.

"Yaw bitch!" yelled Super Marcus.

Then he squinted really hard at the Theron Guard who had killed Redshirt and melted him all over the courtyard's grass. Moving the twin death rays sideways, Super Marcus lit a park bench on fire and visually raped the grenadier taking cover behind it.

A drone started running at Delta Squad as they began to spread out across the LZ and advance into the courtyard.

"I got it!" Cole shouted for all to hear.

Cole then proceeded to fire an entire clip out of his Lancer from the hip and managed to single handedly kill three lumps of dirt, a propaganda poster, and bounce a round off his enemy's right combat boot. The Lancer clacked empty and Cole swore as he ejected the clip and started to reload.

"I've got this bastard!" Super Marcus bellowed, stepping out from behind a wall and clotheslining the drone so hard that it knocked the Locust's head off his shoulders in a bloody spurt.

A Longshot sniper rifle fired and Super Marcus flinched slightly as the bullet pinged off his doo-rag, which had been hardened into Kevlar by the emulsion exposure.

"What the fuck? Is that all you've got?" Super Marcus growled, turning towards the confused sniper who was standing behind a bunch of sandbags.

Super Marcus dashed across the courtyard, kicking slabs of pavement up in his wake. He dove across the sandbags and pulled the Locust sniper's lower jaw free of its face. Super Marcus used the jaw to stab his dentally FUBAR opponent in the eye and mash its brains up into chili before pulling the jaw out and throwing it at a Locust grenadier with enough force to knock the grenadier on his ass.

Super Marcus rolled over to the grenadier and curb stomped him into the pavement.

"Oh, bloody!" Super Marcus orgasmed out of his mouth, which was considerably more intact than that of the dead sniper he'd butt-fucked a moment ago.

"Boomers!" Dom blurted out.

"Boom!" one of the Boomers confirmed.

"Take 'em out!" Super Marcus barked.

Then Super Marcus jumped on the front of one of the Boomers and shoved a grenade down its throat. He didn't even bother to jump back off when the grenade went off and tore the Boomer in half, instead electing to ride the upper half of its carcass into the ground in a wet splash of blood.

"Oh yeah!" Super Marcus shouted.

Cole ran up to the second Boomer and tried to re-enact what his idol, Super Marcus, had done but instead was merely swatted aside by the barrel of the Boomer's massive Boom Shot grenade launcher. Cole stood back up in pain and tried to do it again.

"Cole! Get down!" Super Marcus shouted.

Cole did, and two yellow emulsion beams flew over his head and bisected the last Boomer vertically from the top of its head to its crotch. The massive beast fell apart with organs smacking into the ground creating a hell of a mess.

"Form up!" Super Marcus ordered now that the area was clear.

"Uh, Super Marcus, we're already right here," Dom said.

"Shut the fuck up Dom!" Super Marcus bellowed and was about to shoot Dom with his eye-beams when Anya interrupted him.

"Super Marcus, you can either take the street or go through the build-" she started.

"WE'RE TAKING THE BUILDING!" Super Marcus announced.

He turned and destroyed the building with his Hammer of Dawn vision. The whole structure collapsed to the ground in a thundering of debris and cloud of dust that would practically be able to be spotted from orbit by space stations and passing UFOs.

"Holy shit," Dom muttered.

Then Super Marcus saw with his super vision that there was a Locust Seeder on the other side of the ruined building that was vomiting Nemacyst into the sky rather disgustingly.

"Fucking die!" Super Marcus rumbled in his deep steriody voice.

He fired his emulsion beams and blew two holes in the Seeder as big around as one of Cole's biceps. The Seeder screamed bloody murder and slid back down into its emergence hole, dead.

"Get behind me!" Super Marcus ordered and picked up a Boom Shot in each hand.

They then ran through the debris of the building and into the next courtyard. When they emerged, they found twenty Locusts waiting for them.

"_Surrender_," hissed the head of them, a Theron Guard, "_You cannot win_."

"Well fill your hands you son of a bitch!" Super Marcus shouted and fired his Boom Shots.

Each of the two massive grenades took out nine enemies, leaving two still alive. Super Marcus grabbed each one by the head and cracked their heads together hard enough that they experienced a very violent mind meld. Now with the second courtyard cleared, Dom pointed out they're next obstacle.

"We have to get through that door," he said.

Super Marcus turned to the door and began to squint.

"Not a problem," he grumbled as his eyes started to glow intensely.


	5. Chapter 5

Super Marcus

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 5: Jack**

Delta Squad walked up to the crash site of the second Raven that had gone down earlier in the day. It had taken them five minutes to get there using a combination of chainsaws, bullets, grenades and a hefty supply of their leader Uber Sargent Super Marcus's amazing eye-beam power. Now they were outside of the contemporary combat center in front of the downed Raven's crew who were busy throwing their guts up onto the sidewalk or holding wounds to stop the blood flow out of their bodies.

"Wow, Super Marcus, these guys are really hurting bad," Dom said.

"Well what the hell do you want me to do? Fix them? I'm not fucking Jesus you know!" Super Marcus growled at Dom.

"Sorry man," Dom said.

"You aren't Jesus?" Cole asked with a genuinely hurt look on his face.

"GUS I SWEAR TO GOD!" Super Marcus started, but was interrupted by a little voice in his head.

"_Super Marcus?_" Anya asked.

"Oh my God what?!" Super Marcus asked.

"_You need to proceed around the corner up ahead_," Anya instructed.

"Okay, but first I need to melt Cole," he replied and turned to his large thrashball-playing teammate with deadly intent.

"_No! He needs to watch the wounded!_" Anya screamed.

Super Marcus stopped himself halfway through the eye-beam charging process.

"Really?" he asked.

"_Yes_," she confirmed, "_Really._"

Super Marcus sighed in defeat.

"Fine," he said and started to walk, "Come on, Dom."

Dom decided not to say anything and instead quietly joined his friend, passing Cole who was busy trying not to make it obvious that he had lost control over his bladder.

Both Dom and Super Marcus walked around the corner ahead and made their way through an area with a lot of pillars holding up a roof. They reached a set of doors, which Dom tried to kick open to no avail.

"Jack," commanded Dom, "Rip this door."

The always-helpful hovering droid decloaked out of thin air and moved into position to cut through the door. Super Marcus, on the other hand, had an idea that didn't involve Jack. In fact, it pretty much excluded Jack from all future plans ever.

"All you ever do is cut open stupid doors with your stupidness!" Super Marcus exclaimed as he grabbed Jack in both hands, "WE DON'T NEED YOU!"

Then before Dom or Anya could object, Super Marcus tore the little good-intentioned robot helper apart with a vicious flex of his enhanced muscles.

An emergence hole appeared behind them and a Wretch crawled out.

"Wretches!" Dom hollered at the sight.

"Take it!" Super Marcus bellowed and hurled one of the two Jack pieces at the smaller Locust.

It hit it in the chest with enough force to bust it apart and spray blood everywhere in much the same fashion as if a shotgun blast had taken the creature's life. Remaining body chunks rolled back into the emergence hole, convincing the Locust who were planning to follow the brave Wretch into closing the hole and electing to not do the job and say that they had.

"What are you going to do with the other piece?" Dom asked hesitantly.

"I'm gonna eat it!" Super Marcus said and took a bit out of the solid steal, chewed viciously, and swallowed it.

"So how are we gonna get through the door?" Dom asked.

"_Did you really just ask that?_" Anya put in over the radio.

"Like this," Super Marcus said and blasted the door off of its hinges with his eye-beams.

They were entering the building when a boom-shot grenade went off on the wall next to Dom. Whirling around, the astute Hispanic made an accurate discovery that he felt should be shared with his angry partner.

"Boomers!" Dom shouted.

"I see that!" Super Marcus shouted back.

The second of the two Boomers shot Super Marcus in the face. The grenade simply bounced off his amazingly thick head and collided with a pillar, destroying it in the process.

"You fail!" Super Marcus bellowed and projectile vomited in the Boomer's forehead with the force of a rocket, subsequently blowing the monster's head apart.

The remaining Boomer had finished the reloading process for his oversized weapon and looked up just in time to catch Super Marcus's boot in his face. The boot cracked the Boomer's skull apart and drove enough bone into its brain to kill it.

"Didn't even get a shot off!" Super Marcus yelled in glee.

"Well, actually-" Dom started to correct Super Marcus, but stopped himself on the grounds that he didn't want to go the way of Baird.

"Let's get in the building!" Super Marcus yelled like he'd had one-to-many fireworks go off next to his ear.

The two teammates walked into the building towards their destinies, fame, and more super-powered goodness.


	6. Chapter 6

Super Marcus

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 6: Berserker!**

Super Marcus and Dominic Santiago walked through an abandoned building that in its former life was probably a well-maintained green house. Unfortunately, the Locust invasion had forced its tenders to ignore it in favor of not being chewed into cud by a Corpser, thus leaving it in a shambled wreck of overgrown vines and broken glass.

Dom followed behind Super Marcus safe with the knowledge that if the Locust attacked them from the front, nothing less than a tactical nuke would hurt him. They were walking down a flight of stairs to the main floor of the greenhouse when a call came in over the radio.

"_Super Marcus, I'm being over run down here man! We can't take it anymore! We're pulling the hell out!_" said the confidently stupid voice of Cole.

"Fucking hold your position until I tell you to fall back!" Super Marcus bellowed in reply.

"_But sir, they're all dead!_" Cole protested.

"I don't care if you join them! I can accomplish the mission by myself!" Super Marcus pointed out, his voice like that of a hoarse rhinoceros being punched in the throat.

"_It's okay private Cole,_" Anya said, cutting into the conversation, "_You can fall back._"

"_Thank you ma-"_ Cole started.

"GOD DAMNIT ANYA QUIT UNDERMINING MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS!" Super Marcus shouted loud enough to shatter the glass that served as the greenhouse's ceiling.

Dom was busy snapping his fingers next to his ear to make sure he could still hear when he saw something emerge out of a doorway at the other end of the room. It was tall and gray and looked very, very angry to have heard Super Marcus's yelling.

"Super Marcus! Berserker!" he shouted, taking cover behind a fallen pillar in the process.

But the Uber Sergeant couldn't hear him, as he was still arguing with Anya. Dom only prayed that he didn't shout again and make the Berserker hear him.

"_You can't just continue to kill off members of your team like you've been doing recently! They have families and things to live for, you know!_" Anya said.

"They slow me down!" Super Marcus protested.

"_How did Jack slow you down!?_" she asked.

"He wasn't cutting fast enough!" he replied.

"_But now-"_ she began.

"NO BUTS!" he roared, "CONVERSATION OVER!"

Just then the Berserker hit him in the side with a massive flying tackle that caught him off guard. The massive Locust pinned him to a wall and punched his forehead, then wheeled back in pain as its knuckle shattered against his thicker-than-steel skull.

"That's right bitch," Super Marcus said with a grin, "Hit me again."

The Berserker reared back and punched. Super Marcus ducked and moved out of the way, causing the Berserker's balled fist to go through the wall and shatter the already wounded hand even more. It looked over just in time to see its enemy's fist connect with its nose, breaking it in an instant. The Berserker stumbled back, groping at its ruined face.

"YAW!" Super Marcus exclaimed and kicked the creature's knee hard enough to break it backwards.

The Berserker howled in pain and fell to the floor on its back, out for the remainder of the fight. Super Marcus debated blasting it apart with his laser vision, but then had a better idea. As he walked off, Dom got up from his hiding place and looked down at the crippled Berserker.

"Damn man, that was fucking hardcore," he breathed.

"MOVE!" Super Marcus shouted.

Dom reacted instantly, diving to the left without even turning to look at why he should move. When he came to a stop, he turned just in time to see a pickup truck land on the Berserker's face and break it. Then two yellow beams lanced into the truck's gas tank and sent that portion of the greenhouse into an angry fireball of destruction that killed both the Berserker and many unfortunate vines that were nearby.

"Jesus!" Dom exclaimed.

Super Marcus walked past him and over to the remains of the truck. With a mighty kick, the charred chassis flew across the room and through a wall, causing bricks to tumble down around it. Then Super Marcus did the last thing Dom would have thought he would do to the downed Berserker: he unzipped his fly and pissed on it.

The urine was a strange yellow color like emulsion and it corroded the dead Locust's face like acid, slowly eating through the rock-hard skin and tissue until nothing was left but a steaming pool of goo. Acid piss, the possibilities where too much for Dom to comprehend at the moment. If Super Marcus was aware of his newfound capability, he didn't show it. In fact, he sounded just like any regular guy going number one.

"Oh yeah," he sighed, as the torrent of liquid continued.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry about the long time between updates. I'll try and be more on time about them. Anyway, please leave a review and tell me what you thought. Things to look forward to in the future: more teamkilling, more 'OH YEAH's, and an awesome 1v1 fight. Thanks for reading.**

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 7: Imaginary Place**

"Sir, we are unable to construct the barricade," a Locust Grunt told his superior, a torque bow-wielding Theron Guard.

"What do you mean you are unable?" the Theron Guard hissed.

"We do not have the tools required to do so," the Grunt protested.

"Look around you!" the Guard exclaimed, "There are broken chunks of stone lying everywhere! Just pick them up and put them together to make a wall that stops things from getting to the stairs of the house!"

"Oh, well I guess I didn't think of that," the Grunt muttered.

"Get to work!"

1 HOUR LATER

"Sir!" the Grunt exclaimed, standing atop his newly made wall of makeshift debris, "We have completed the barricade!"

"Good work! I will surely put you in for a promotion to Grunt Second Class!" the Theron Guard replied.

"FUCK YOUR WALL!" bellowed a burly voice.

Two Emulsion beams smashed into the fortified position and destroyed it in one swoop. The stones blew outward and hit the Theron Guard in the head, knocking him over a railing and into the river running below the bridge they were positioned on. Due to the weight of his armor, the Guard sunk to the bottom in no time.

"No!" the Grunt exclaimed, reaching out in the direction of his drowned superior.

Super Marcus grabbed the Grunt's arm and pulled it off, spun it around and beat him upside the head with it hard enough to crack skull and kill the subterranean soldier. His body hit the ground and Super Marcus stepped over it, continuing on his way to the destination: his father's house.

Dom came out of hiding five feet behind his friend and jogged to keep up with his speed walk, staying directly behind him in case of a Locust ambush. They were making their way up around a corner and had just come in sight of the staircase leading up to the house when the radio crackled to life.

"_Hey Super Marcus? Its Cole, you know, your teammate and understanding-_"

"SPIT IT OUT!"

"_Oh, yeah, uh, Baird just showed up man,_"

"How the hell? I melted him!" Super Marcus shouted, then wheeled around and blew Dom apart with his eye-beams before the Hispanic could put up his hands in surrender.

Now Anya's voice filtered into his ear. "_Super_ _Marcus! What the hell did Dom do?"_

"Cole's too stupid to put Baird back together again, but Dom has been secretly against my powers this entire time! So logically he is to blame for Baird's return!"

_"Super Marcus, we brought him back with modern medical science,"_

"That Dom created in his secret lab!"

_"What the hell? No, no we created it."_

"FUCK YOU I'M RIGHT!"

_"Fine, whatever, you're right. Just get up to the house, and be careful. There's Locust up there."_

Just then, a Troika machine gun opened up from the top of the stairs along with four snipers, two Boomers and twelve Grunts with Hammer Burst rifles. Super Marcus picked up Dom's fallen Lancer and charged the position, running straight up the stairs into the gunfire. Bullets bounced off of his skin the entire way as his feet dug so far into the steps that chunks of stone kicked up in his wake.

With an accompanying roar, he leapt up the last few stairs and chain sawed the Troika gunner in half. With the gunner out of the way, Marcus ripped the Troika off of its mounting and swung around in line with the other Locust. He squeezed the trigger and the Troika roared, blowing the opposition away in a hail of heavy-caliber death.

"OH YEAH!!" he groaned in ecstasy as the blood, bone and brains exploded across the stairs.

A Boomer shuddered and fell under the barrage and in his dying breath accidentally killed his partner with a grenade. When the smoke cleared, the Troika was out of ammo and many more Locust lay dead on the stairs, body parts not included.

"That, was satisfying," Super Marcus muttered to himself, holding the Troika one handed.

"Hey! Super Marcus!" Baird said as he walked up behind him, "What's happening?"

Super Marcus turned around and using the Troika as a baseball bat, knocked Baird 2.0's head off like an unfortunate watermelon.

Super Marcus looked over at Cole as Baird's body hit the ground.

"I don't want to hear a peep out of you, Gus. Let's just get inside the house, get the data, and go home."


	8. Chapter 8

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 8: Delays**

Super Marcus charged down a series of old wooden stairs into the basement of his old house, stealth ignored in favor of saving time. At the base of the stairs he kicked a wooden door off of its hinges, sending it flying through the barrel-filled interior of a wine cellar. It hit a Locust grunt in the head, throwing it off balance holding its head in pain.

Super Marcus squinted toward the confused Locust, feeling the emulsion power building up behind his eyes, and was about to fire when a shotgun blast hit him in the side of the head.

"Ah ha!" a grenadier proclaimed as it reloaded its shotgun.

Super Marcus turned toward the grenadier and grabbed it by the throat, holding it still while he bashed its head in with a wine bottle. The grenadier made a gurgling noise and fell to the floor, a piece of glass sticking out of its head.

"How's the brain freeze?" Super Marcus said and chuckled at his cleverness.

_"That didn't even make sense,"_ Anya sighed in his earpiece.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Super Marcus shouted.

The remaining Locust soldier was promptly melted by emulsion concentrated into beam form. Super Marcus stepped over the smoldering corpse and continued into a large room.

_"The secret room is behind that wine shelf,"_ Anya informed him.

"I know! I LIVED HERE!"

_"Just making sure,"_ Anya said and squelched the line.

Super Marcus shattered the shelf with a maneuver he dubbed 'super kick' as he preformed it. He melted a metal door that was positioned behind the shelf and continued through into a large, dark room. An array of motion sensing lights flickered on, bathing the subterranean workplace in a tentative light. Super Marcus marched across the area and pounded on the only desk in sight.

"Work, damnit!" he shouted.

A hologram blinked into focus in front of Super Marcus's eyes. It began pulsating and revealing a view of Sera's innards, and the positions of the Locust tunnels.

"Anya!" Super Marcus shouted into his earpiece, "I found the road map!"

_"It isn't a road map," _Anya sighed.

"Are you implying that Locust can't have roads?" Super Marcus questioned.

_"For the sake of argument, yes, I don't believe that evil rock monsters have roads."_

"YOU FUCKING RACEIST BITCH!" Super Marcus screamed, "I HOPE THE GRUBS CAPTURE YOU AND TAKE YOU DOWN INTO THEIR HOLE AND SHOW YOU THEIR NASTY, SLIMY, WELL-ORGANIZED INNERSTATE TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM!"

_"Okay mister smart ass," _Anya said, _"If you're so well versed on Locust construction, then you should have no trouble mapping them, huh?"_

Super Marcus paused, the inner workings of his brain actually audible in the stillness of the basement. Finally, he came to a realization.

"Why do I have to map them? Isn't that why we have Jack?" he asked, "So that I don't have to work and use my brain?"

_"Well, yeah, but you ate him. Now you have to draw it by hand."_

"GOD DAMNIT!"

After a good five minutes of laser-beaming the basement, Super Marcus calmed down enough to find some paper. Once he had a good sixteen sheets, he realized that there was no pen in sight. No pen meant no drawing, and no drawing made Super Marcus very, very angry.

"Anya!" he shouted, "I NEED A FUCKING PEN!"

_"Scans show no pens in the vicinity, but, wait. There are crayons!"_

"Where?" Super Marcus demanded.

There was a silence on the other line.

"WHERE!?" Super Marcus bellowed again, this time loud enough to knock a light loose and wobble the hologram.

_"I know where, but, you're not gonna like it," _Anya warned.

"I can handle it," he assured.

_"Cole has them."_


	9. Chapter 9

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 9: Sweet Emulsion**

Private Augustus Cole of Delta Squad popped up over the broken remains of a second story wall and sprayed Lancer fire down into the courtyard of Super Marcus's old house. The heavy caliber bullets smashed into stone barriers, knocked chunks out of a derelict fountain, chewed up the muddy turf and broke three lights lining the path up to the entrance.

Of course, in all this shooting, not one Locust soldier was even slightly injured, but Cole chose to attribute that to their general slipperiness as underground rock monsters. Besides, shooting his big gun had made the Train's biceps look good! And that was all that mattered in a war for humanity's survival. Yeah baby!

Cole had just finished reloading and was about to pop up to deliver a second crippling barrage to his enemies when Super Marcus grabbed him by the throat. The Emulsionized man picked up Cole with one hand, holding him two feet above the ground.

"WHERE ARE THE CRAYONS!?" Super Marcus roared, his eyes glowing with untold magnitudes of power.

"W-w-what?" Cole managed to stammer. In light of the circumstances, it was quite amazing that he got even that broken phrase out.

"GOD DAMNIT COLE!"

Super Marcus threw Cole through a nearby banister and across the open lobby of the house like a rag doll. The three hundred-pound former Thrashball player slammed into a cabinet, shattering it into a thousand splinters of expensive wood. Super Marcus jumped across the lobby, swinging on a big chandelier to increase his momentum, and landed next to Cole.

He grabbed Cole by the back of the neck and picked him up again. "Crayons, Cole! NOW!"

"Hold on!" the big man stammered, "I'll get them."

Super Marcus waited impatiently as Cole sifted through his pockets for a moment. Eventually a rainbow colored cardboard box was produced and feebly offered up to Super Marcus, which he immediately snatched and tucked under his doo-rag for safe keeping.

"Thanks Gus," he muttered.

Cole was about to reply when Super Marcus tossed him down onto the main floor of the house. He landed hard and felt something pop in his back, but became seriously worried when the floor broke out from under him. Seventeen Wretches grabbed Cole from beneath and tugged him down into the abyss, screaming his head off all the way.

"Watch out for the groundskeepers!" Super Marcus shouted, laughing at his own joke.

_"That-"_

"What? Didn't make sense?"

_"Yeah,"_ Anya said, _"Wait, you realize that?"_

"HELL NO! IT WAS REALLY FUNNY!"

Anya sighed. _"Look, just get back to the hologram."_

Super Marcus ran down the stairs and dashed through myriad corridors on his piston-like legs until he reached the wine cellar. It was here that the Wretches who had snatched Cole decided that they would try their luck on a bigger target. As Super Marcus stepped toward the laboratory, all seventeen of the malformed watchdogs jumped him.

"Gah! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

One of the Wretches tried to dig its claws into his eyes, only to discover that they were harder than tempered steel. Super Marcus blinked, taking off the ends of the Wretch's fingertips in bloody spurts. The little creature recoiled in shock, jumping back into a hole in the ceiling where it could observe Super Marcus's slaughter of its friends.

First, he broke one of the creature's necks with a flick of his wrist. Using the Wretch's dead body as a makeshift cudgel, Super Marcus beat another upside the head, sending it spiraling across the cellar and into a wine rack where its back was snapped like a toothpick by the force of the impact. Another two leapt toward his face and had their heads promptly bitten off.

One latched onto his legs and was killed by an iron-strong flexing of his calf muscles that left the Wretch mangled and crushed at his feet. Six more were destroyed in a sweeping blast of Emulsion beams, dispersing their ashes across the dusty floor in haphazard piles. Another five surrounded him in a circle, snarling and shifting from foot to foot in anticipation of the moment of attack.

Super Marcus spun in a circle, melting them all in one fell swoop of his eye beams. Upon seeing this, the one surviving Wretch in the ceiling made an attempt to retreat through the air ducts of the basement.

"YAW MOTHER FUCKER!"

Suddenly, Super Marcus's hand busted through the floor of the air duct and wrapped around the Wretch's head. With one mighty squeeze, the super human crushed the small rock monster's head.

_"Uh, are you gonna copy the map?"_ Anya asked.

"HANG ON!" he replied, pulling the Wretch's body out of the ceiling, "I'm hungry."

And then he ate it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Super Marcus**

**Chapter 10: The End, The Beginning**

"There!" Super Marcus proclaimed, "All done!"

Anya seemed unconvinced _"Does it accurately portray the interior of the tunnels-"_

"HIGHWAYS!" Super Marcus corrected.

_"Sorry. Does it accurately portray the interior of the highways as shown in the hologram?"_

Super Marcus held his drawing at arms length, tapping his lower lip with his crayon like he had seen artists do in movies. There were some loopy red lines that clearly represented the highways, contained inside of a green circle labeled SEAREA in boxy letters. He had even been so kind as to include a scribbled yellow sun in one corner, complete with the aviator sunglasses that everyone knew the sun wore when it was too hot outside.

"Yeah, it looks good," he confirmed, quickly putting a box on the surface and labeling it HOME for Jacinto. After all, it would be bad for the bomb to blow up his home.

_"I'll take your word for it."_

"You're trying to take my word? THAT'S MY WORD!" Super Marcus screamed. Beams discharged from his eyes and melted the holographic display in front of him.

"It's an expression, Super Marcus."

"YOU ARE AN EXPRESSION!"

Anya sighed. "Look, just get to the Tyro train station. The next train through there is carrying the lightmass bomb. Then we can destroy the Locust tunnels."

Super Marcus roared and kicked a chair through the wall. "THEY'RE HIGHWAYS YOU CONDESCENDING BITCH!"

"Shut up!" she shrieked, stopping him dead in his tracks, "I'm tired of your bullshit! Just get to the objective, mother fucker!"

"FINE!" Super Marcus answered, starting out of the lab.

"And try not to kill any more Gears while you're at it!"

"I'M GOING TO RAPE YOUR THROAT OUT!"

(' ')

The lobby of the mansion was full of Locust. They were mostly baseline grubs, with only two boomers and a thereon to break the monotony. A smart soldier would have advanced quietly and sprung a witty trap. Super Marcus did not sneak forward, although he did spring a witty trap. It was an ingeneous trap he named 'EAT MY NUTSACK!'.

Specifically, it involved Super Marcus killing everyone in the room and slapping the dead thereon with his testicles. It was beautiful.

As he was leaving, Anya spoke up. _"Did you just scream 'ha ha ha nutsack'?"_

"It's a tactic."

A Brumak confronted Super Marcus in the outside courtyard, so he beat it to death with his penis. The remaining platoon worth of Locust tried to retreat, but he beamed them down into piles of bloody sludge. He kicked the last grub into low orbit, cursing at it to be abducted and sodomized by aliens.

_"Okay, Super Marcus, now you need to find transport,"_ Anya said. _"There should be an APC near your location—"_

"I CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE!" Super Marcus yelled.

He grabbed the bumper and threw the APC to meet the grub in orbit. He hoped they would be friends.

_"Great, dumbass. Now how're you going to get to the train station?"_

"IMMA FLY!"

And then Super Marcus blew an emulsion fart that propelled him into the mid afternoon sky at hypersonic velocities.

(' ')

General RAAM stood at the head of the train, holding two boomshots and surrounded by Kryll. Behind him was the lightmass bomb, the lightmass bomb that he intended to repurpose to destroy the lambent problem that was slowly eating his species like a cancer. This would be a great day. Due to the systematic use of this bomb, he would solve the eternal problem and bring about peace with the humans. All would be forgiven in due time, and a brand new Sera would form in the aftermath.

RAAM sighed. This was to be a good day.

"General," spoke one of the drones nearby. "Our longrange radar has detected an incoming signature at highspeeds."

"Is it a human aircraft?" RAAM asked. He dearly wished to explain to the humans his plan. A coalition was preferable to senseless violence at this point.

"We don't think so, sir. It's moving too fa—" and then the drone exploded.

Super Marcus landed on the train deck, doorag blowing in the wind, and glared at RAAM. "LET'S GO, FUCKFACE!"

RAAM started to explain, but a twitchy drone jumped the gun and fired. Super Marcus shrugged off the shot and broke the poor soldier's spleen over his knee, then used the corpse to beat the rest of RAAM's honor guard to death. The fight lasted seven seconds. At one point he used a tibula as a sword. It was disgusting.

"THERE!" Super Marcus threw his last victim aside and squared off with the General. "Any last words?"

"Yes, I would just like to say that though our species are remarkably different, we share several commonalities that I believe we can work towards using as a basis for long term—"

"Enough talk! FIGHT ME!"

Super Marcus ate the Kryll shield and blasted RAAM's upper body into poo, single handedly flushing all future Locust/Human friendly relations down the proverbial toilet.

(' ')

_"Okay, now upload the plans and—"_

Super Marcus pulled his earbud out and threw it across the deck, knocking a wretch apart with its impact. He stepped up to the lightmass bomb and scanned his drawing into its onboard computer, and then kicked it off the train and into the canyon. He took off into the sky on his fart propulsion and watched the train careen down after the bomb. Seconds later, the entire landscape erupted in flames, and the canyon walls collapsed.

The King Raven arrived as Super Marcus was dry humping the air in celebration.

"Fenix!" Hoffman screamed over the rotors. "What in the blazing bumfuck did you do! Those bombs didn't do jackshit more than explode this valley!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP HOFFMAN!"

A gloved hand grabbed the old colonel and threw him four hundred feet down into the emulsion. Super Marcus beamed the area to be sure he was dead, then he became aware of the screaming voice of a woman.

"My God! What did you do to Hoffman?"

Super Marcus looked over and saw Anya hanging out the side of the chopper, and his yellowish eyes narrowed suggestively. "Hello, Lieutenant Bitch Face."

She looked at him in fear. "No. No! NO!"

But it was too late. Super Marcus bounded into the Raven, forcing its rotors to struggle against his superhuman weight, and raped Anya senseless. The pilots tried to ignore the screams as they headed home to Jacinto. Behind them, the planet's crust was weeping emulsion as a brand new day dawned over the Seran horizon.

(' ')

The Locust queen sat upon her rocky throne, stroking an exotic rock monster cat with her rocky fingers, pondering all the while.

On the surface, a new age had dawned: the age of the superhero. Super Marcus Fenix was a powerful being and made up quite well for the fact that the lightmass bomb had done virtually nothing to the Locust tunnels. Already he had destroyed fourteen warbands single-handedly, and done massive damage to a mountain stronghold in the wintery north. If this kept up, they would lose this war.

But the Locust queen had an ace in the hole, a secret weapon created by Super Marcus's own hand, and she occupied herself now by watching it enter, lead by her trusted Skorge.

"This is him?" she asked.

Skorge made a vomiting noise in his throat. It meant yes in Locust priest-speak.

The queen smiled at her new charge. "Answer me this, human: do you wish to kill the one they call Super Marcus?"

The man looked up at her from under the brim of his cap, his eyes glowing a dangerous shade of gold.

"Yes ma'am," answered Dark Hoffman. "With all my might."

**Author's Note: It took too long, and it was very stupid, but now it's over. Or is it? The sequel is coming...  
**


End file.
